3 weeks

I can't believe it but my little bugaboo is 3 weeks old today!! Where has the time gone?! I was telling my mom the other day that I'm finally feeling like, "Ah, I can do this. I am confident in my ability to care for Collin and hopefully be a good mommy to him. And we're finally getting on a routine. No more day and night confusion!" There was a time when I didn't think I'd ever get to this point, but I'm here! And it only took 3 weeks. I'm thinking that's not too bad.

We had a rough week last week, though, because when I took him in for his 2 week appointment, he hadn't regained enough weight to put him back at his birth weight. I, of course, had been worrying about him and wondering if he was getting enough milk from me as I was breastfeeding him. I even called my OBG/YN a couple days before his 2 week appointment asking how to get my milk supply up. Well, my worst fears were confirmed when we found out he wasn't gaining weight like he should be. Boy, did I feel like the worst mom ever!! I truly didn't mean to starve the little guy (and no, he wasn't starving but trying to convince me that I hadn't hurt my little man was nearly impossible). The doctor reassured me that with a little supplementing he'd be back at his birth weight in no time. So, that's what we did. I breastfeed and supplemented him with formula. I also began taking some medication to get my milk supply up. Unfortunately, I don't believe it's helping me make more milk or perhaps my milk isn't rich enough for him...if that's even possible. But, the good news is that Collin is putting on weight...and quickly!! PRAISE THE LORD!! And that's what I've been most concerned about. So, I believe I've come to the conclusion that for whatever reason, breastfeeding isn't going to work out. Oh how this breaks my heart because I LOVE breastfeeding and if I could only make more it would be great. But my top priority is to care for my sweet little man....and putting weight on and growing as he should is what's most important. So, any reassurances that I'm still a good mom even though breastfeeding isn't going to work are much appreciated! :)

More importantly, here are some pictures of the little guy!! Oh he just gets sweeter every day!!


  1. He is precious. I realized that Collin and Brock are only a day apart. Brock is my third baby and I still think newborn stage is rough! We are finally getting more sleep at night with Brock. My sister always reminds me that the first month is the hardest and once we make it to that milestone it gets easier! I just keep reminding myself that it goes by too fast! Enjoy the little snuggle bug! He is adorable!

  2. Ok...whether you believe me or not....YOU ARE A GREAT MOM....no matter what mode of feeding you do!!! Period!!! He is sooo precious and nothing will change that...breastfeeding or not!!! Keep up the good work babe!!! Just relax and enjoy!!! He loves his momma and so do we! Funny...the word verification that I have to type in to be able to send this to you is....weenest! Hee hee...go figure!

  3. He's getting so big!! Oh my goodness!! He looks healthy and handsome, Kristal. You are doing a FANTASTIC job.

    And don't even begin to feel guilty about the breast feeding issue! It has nothing to do with you or how you feel about your little guy. You have given it your best and that's wonderful! I remember feeling guilty for having to supplement with formula with Caleb, but then I was like, "Praise God for formula--he wouldn't be able to grow without it!!" It's easy to tell by the pictures that you are doing an awesome job with him. He is being loved and tended to and really, when it comes down to it, whether he's getting breast milk or formula isn't the issue--what matters is the depth of love from the person giving to him. And you are very obviously a loving, devoted Mama, and THAT'S what really matters. That's what will keep him growing! Keep up the good work!!

  4. Hey, I'm just a random reader (I read your blog from the link on Taylor & Jessica's) and we most definitely have some things in common! Unfortunately I had to have a c-section, AND I had to supplement after my daughter's 2 week checkup because she wasn't gaining enough weight! I BAWLED. I THOUGHT I HAD STARVED HER TOO! She is 7 weeks now, and I use formula, and "comfort nurse" because I too, love the breastfeeding time with her. Basically I just nurse between her normal feedings and during the night.(Which means I don't produce much, but I give her everything I can!) It's very soothing for her, for myself, and still keeps that breastfeeding bond that I so longed for! Good luck with everything!

  5. Listen, whatever is best for Collin is what is right and good. New parenthood is overwhelming by itself. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing a great job. I also had to supplement Tyler's feeding and I think he turned out okay!


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