I have found myself reflecting a lot on our marriage and how we have grown together and what we have learned, so far, on this journey. I'm sure if you asked us separately, we'd have different things we have learned. But, I'm sure there would be some of the same, too. I thought I'd take a minute to share some of those things that I have personally learned, and continue to learn, everyday. These are in no particular order....
1. Always give your best. This world is demanding! It wants the best of us all the time. And often, our husbands suffer. They get our leftovers when, really, they should be receiving our best. I'm so thankful I'm able to stay home and raise our children, but let me tell you, there are days I am completely spent. I've reached my limit and just need a break! But, this isn't the fault of my husband. He doesn't deserve to have my stress taken out on him. Sure, we all have off days...that's fine! But as a norm, my husband and family need to receive the best of me.
2. Don't stop dating. It's easy to fall into a routine after your married and stop dating each other. I've learned how important it is to keep dating my husband. When I say dating, I don't solely mean fancy dinners out or Friday night movies. Sure, those have their place and are very important. But, I'm talking about getting to know my husband, his fears, his dreams, etc. Although some aspects of us are the same as the day we got married, we have both grown and changed as individuals and I never want to miss finding out who my husband is becoming just because I've stopped dating him.
3. Give grace. We all mess up. We're going to let each other down. Expectations will not be met. But give grace! And give grace some more when you don't want to or don't think you can. Someday you'll need grace, too.
4. Strive to understand, not be understood. I have learned, and continue to learn everyday, that selfishness has no place in marriage, or any relationship for that matter. The minute I stop trying to "hound my point home" or "make him get it" and try to look at things from his perspective, he gets it. Or at least understands where I'm coming from.
5. Communicate! I cannot read his mind, he cannot read mine. Even when I wish so badly that after all these years he would just know, he doesn't. And neither do I. It is so important to say exactly how you feel or what you mean and not expect him/her to just know. And don't beat around the bush either. Just say it!
6. Ask God to continually make you fall in love with your husband. Satan wants nothing more than to tear family's apart. A form of "insurance" to prevent that from happening is never falling out of love with your husband. Love is a choice. And it's very important not to forget about those little things that brought you together in the first place.
7. Be his biggest fan. The world is rough, harsh, critical, demanding and so many other things. He needs to know I'm in his corner, behind him all the way, no matter what. I might be the only encouragement he receives today or tomorrow or the next day. He needs a cheerleader and I'm just the girl for the job!
So, those are some things I'm learning everyday. I know I have a lot more to learn, too. I'm so thankful for our marriage, imperfections and all. He's a wonderful husband and father and I'm blessed to be his wife!
Until next time,